My wife hates conflict. It used to turn her inside out. Some people have phobias of spiders or eating turnips (understandable), others have phobias of people not getting along. Erin is lovely and a peace maker which is a great match for me because I think peace is a bit boring. I like progress instead (is also what I say to myself when I get … Continue reading Conflict Dealers
Hold your nose ‘cause here goes the cold water. I’m not even going to tell you who said that (don’t sue me Eminem). Most of us lose an argument in the first ten seconds. If you grew up in an unhealthy home conflict was always bad. It left broken pieces behind and things we did and said that we can only look back now and … Continue reading The 10 Second Rule
There are no married people problems. Before you prove me wrong by pointing me to your marriage (which has obvious problems), let me beat you to it by admitting ours is definitely a work in progress too. So let me say this: There are no married people problems, only people with single people problems who get married. This slightly revised concept of Andy Stanley’s retains … Continue reading No Married People Problems
Me: “What’s wrong with that crew? They’re taking forever!” Site General: “They’ve got no FLOW” He was right. Flow is everything, specifically flowing from one good decision to the next. Early in my work career, before I began pastoring, I was still learning the ropes of people and project management which have proven to be invaluable, when I came across a scenario that … Continue reading It’s About Flow
Awkward… Why do church people fight so much? Great question… the answer is quite simple and is the same answer behind most conflict in every relationship you have… James was the brother of Jesus and writes a letter to straighten up some church people infighting about everything. Around Venue we tend to think that infighting is natural if you haven’t fought the enemy in awhile, … Continue reading Church Wars
Trying to be someone you shouldn’t never ends well.
Your ROLE is more important than you think. Trace back every argument you’ve had with anybody in the past month and I’ll bet you fought about (or quietly resisted) “Who gets to do what to whom?” Continue reading Your Bus Seat
In watching family relationships and business interactions for some decades I’ve developed a theory…. most people lose before they even enter conflict. Maybe this is you? So what if we didn’t automatically translate the word conflict into pain? I’m not a guy who has pets. I don’t understand the concept of a free-loading, arrogant, playful being who serves no other purpose than eating food I … Continue reading I Would Consider Having Fainting Goats…
Have you ever been asked “WHY?” you’re doing something? We don’t like that very much when it comes to what we’re doing because we normally assume the best about ourselves and not the best (worst) about people we’re in conflict with. We can go for years sometimes repeating the same patterns and getting the same results without ever looking to the root cause of it … Continue reading The “Why are you doing that?” Hat
“Forgiveness beats pulling the trigger. The life you save is your own” #gundown When conflict happens the first thing we tend to do is kick our chair back, fortify (gather allies), and leave the room of that relationship. That needs to change immediately. It’s just so easy to so build up our side of the story to where it’s the “ONLY” side when in reality … Continue reading Gun Down
Ever walk into someone’s house when they’ve just had a family fight? The atmosphere is charged, the kids are hiding in their rooms, the dog is whimpering in the corner and no one is making eye contact with each other. Careful what you say or BOOM! If it’s not an explosion it will be the long freeze session where nobody speaks for days. We all … Continue reading Eggshells
