Brooklyn 99

Now before you ride me out of town on a rail for admitting to occasionally watching Brooklyn 99, it should be noted that I would be less tempted to watch it if its characters didn’t remind me of people I know.

Granted the subject matter is not always Venue approved (certain laws of decency apply to music we play in the lobby etc), but it is ridiculously funny at times. My fast forward button helps me keep a relatively clean conscience during its innuendo moments.

Most of the readers are like “You’re defending watching THAT? You should see what I watch!”

I would remind those of you who didn’t grow up in church that religious people, though well meaning, can be a little odd sometimes in regards to behaviour expected of pastors.

My best friend’s dad growing up wouldn’t let him (and ESPECIALLY pastors) watch such horrifying things as cartoons with the logic that watching them was “unprofitable”. I’m still not sure if that meant one didn’t learn much watching them or one couldn’t make any money from watching them? I’m pretty sure I didn’t care about either as a child.

Upon having kids of our own our thinking was that it was quite profitable to distract the kids from trying to murder each other on road trips..

Whatever. People are a bit weird.

But everybody knows a Peralta. I know a couple of them: uber competitive and fun bordering on ridiculous, but not overly concerned with keeping the rules. I have a little Peralta in me.

Charles Boyle is the guy at work who is the pushover and takes blame for things he didn’t do just to keep the peace. But every office needs a cheerleader who supports literally everything and doesn’t rock the boat.

Captain Holt? The emotionless person who is impossible to get a read on. I once waved my hand in front of a friend’s face and said “Helllllllooooo! Can you please tell your face to say something? I don’t know if you like my idea or hate it or are mad about something”

“I was thinking” she replied.

Well think on your face next time…

Every workplace has a vicious Rosa Diaz who laughs at all the wrong things and is scary and never tells you anything about their lives.

I have nothing for Terry other than some people talk about themselves in the third person? I would find that uncomfortable to be around.

My wife is a bit like Santiago. Eager to please and a rule follower, just not any rules that I made. Oh my goodness watch her head explode if I suggest that Neela forgetting to return a library book might not demand the same reaction as our house being on fire?

I can’t figure out if she’s physically afraid of librarians or what the deal is, but we can afford the five cents a day something is late so I’m not sure spending five bucks in gas when we don’t need anything downtown is the best investment?

I would actually enjoy it if she was pulled over by law enforcement just for her to see that she won’t get thrown in jail forever for forgetting to signal and could probably relax a little.

Just this morning I said “It must be exhausting constantly shoulder checking from the passenger seat” with a grin on my face. Sometimes I drive on the rumble strips and act like I don’t hear them just to make her crazy.

“What? Why are you looking at me? Oh the rumble strips?”

She can and has said “Green light!” in the one millisecond it takes to move my foot from the brake to the gas about a million times. Sometimes a “Thanks mom” escapes me. Girls love it when you call them your mom unless they’re not, then they seem to hate it.

Now let’s talk about Gina Linetti. We all know self absorbed psychopaths who are so enamoured with their phones that it’s actually very funny. I love Gina and she’s my favourite just behind Peralta. I love how unpredictable and fun life is and the drama that ensues when people are ridiculous and completely out of touch with the real world.

I don’t particularly like living with drama but watching it is pretty great. Not that I do as a pastor, of course because that would be unprofitable…

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