The Kessel Run

Night at the Movies began with a free showing of The Last Jedi and I thoughtI would write some thoughtsabout my thoughts(ahem) trying to connect Star Wars with real life. Mostly because no one has ever done that before…

I remember my disappointing personal experiences with the Force as a boy lying in bed, having read a book to exhaustion and attempting to use the Force to turn my light switch off without getting up. This only seemed to work if I paired the Force with actually getting up and turning the lights off, but I still tried every time.

I think I enjoyed Star Wars the most because Luke came from a dreary planet and I lived in a dreary town after we moved back to Canada from LA, and he found his ticket out so he could be part of something impossible, so maybe I could too?

He also had a speeder and I had a speedy bike so there are loads of comparisons to draw from.

My school as a child reminded me of Luke’s aunt and uncle’s “Next year you can go and have fun, I promise!” (wah wah), meanwhile stay here for now, and be good by being bored! I didn’t even have droids to fix up, and certainly never had a hologram of a hot princess telling me to find Obi-Wan Kenobi.

I removed some restraining bolts from my brother (“Mom and dad would totally be cool with us _____!”), but was promptly and lovingly reminded that I was an idiot and shouldn’t seduce my brother to the dark side.

My dad was way too responsible for me to have a Darth Vader reveal (“I AM your father!!!” “NOOOOOOO!”), as he was more the Admiral Motti type decrying “sorcerer’s ways” because the Death Star (whatever project he was on) was a “technological terror” based on human efficiency and ingenuity. He was, however, the type who would launch the family mini van shuttle whether or not you were on it because “I’m leaving in ten minutes with anyone who wants a ride” actually meant that.

My wife reminds me of a hot Leia/ R2D2 (she mumbles and beeps when frustrated), and oddly enough C-3PO (“The odds of successfully navigating an asteroid field is approximately 3,720 to 1!” — while I’m trying to pass someone on the road), so overall we have a strange dynamic.

I remind myself of Han Solo because he’s amazing and smirky. Erin would say 10% Solo and 90% Senator Palpatine just before everyone finds out he’s a Sith Lord because neither give a rip about library books being returned on time or spend any emotional energy whatsoever on being perceived as “sweet”, which must be very confusing for someone like her to be strangely attracted to someone like me. This amuses me also.

I drove up to a friend’s house in Erin’s new/ old Millennium Falcon (’09 Navigator) and was asked “How much money do you make???”, to which I responded “I won it in a card game”, which would have been cool if I’d have actually thought of that on the spot and not five days later. My actual response was “Um.. we paid ten grand for this…?” with a weird look on my face. I guess she thought pastors couldn’t afford used Lincolns… But could it make the Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs? Not with Leia/ R2/ 3PO driving…

I do enjoy the mystery of the Force and life in general. I can tell within two seconds whether I’ve watched a movie already, but I can rarely tell you how it ends. Some movies I’ve had the shocked moment of finding out the butler did it every time I watched. There’s something magical about keeping the childhood wonder and belief alive.

I go out for walks often and make a point of crushing pine needles in my hands every time I pass the right kinds of trees. Why? Because I can’t remember how it smells? Because I’m looking to repeat an experience I’ve already had?

The answer is that I don’t really know, but maybe every time it’s a little different? The light catches the leaves a little differently. The pond ripples a little differently. The sun warms me differently. It makes me stop and admire things, and we tend to hate admiring anything that’s not us.

So many people try something one time, fail, and never try anything similar again. Their catchphrase is “It didn’t work!”, then they try to conscript me into their conspiracy of safe, boring people that don’t try things.

Me? I think differently, I’m not trying to check a box off. I never liked boxes all that much to begin with. My childhood bike riding motto was that if 20 mph didn’t work, maybe 50 mph will?

Heck, I’m still trying to use the Force to turn off the lights.

And I still admire a dreamer…

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