I can’t help but think “I’ll bet they’re their own worst enemy?” when I meet some people.

I was a teenager when I first heard a man describe his electrician to me in these terms. He himself had back problems and so did the other man who was trenching a line into his yard. In the bottom of the trench the electrician’s back seized up and knocked him to the ground. My friend said “I’d love to help but I can hardly walk right now”

The man in the trench went zero to sixty, cussing and swearing and generally taking out his frustration on everyone else, while on his back in the trench.

..because that helps.

I told someone a couple of weeks ago “You’ll never make her happy because they’re not a happy person”. What does that mean? It means that no matter how good a day can be, a negative and selfish person will find a way to wreck it.

Some people think it’s YOUR job to make them happy. Good luck with that.

I asked a woman one time why she existed, a deep question I know, she responded with “to BE loved.”

Scary wrong. Now it’s everybody’s full time job to make her happy. “Husband, love ME. Kids, love ME. God, love ME. It’s your job!”

Well if you’re at the centre of the universe it’s going to be small and sucky for everyone. This subconsciously means that when you’re miserable you have to be “honest” (immature) and act miserably to everyone around you.

Are you like this? Are you only ever truly happy when you win and everyone is losing?

I meet all types of people all the time, but one my least favourites (even pastors are allowed to not want to hang out with everyone) are people that love to argue about everything.

My people pet peeves are those who have to be right ALL the time. Because they possess stronger personalities and Win most arguments, they tend to dominate the people around them. If an argument starts they will change the rules and facts until you have to agree with them. This is terrifying.

I’ve heard people start on one side of the argument in an aggressive manner and then argue against themselves right into an awkward stalemate. This is like making a run into the end zone and tackling yourself before you can get there. It’s actually pretty funny.

The bible says that even a fool is considered wise if he can just keep his mouth shut. But he can’t so he won’t.

It’s because we don’t truly understand honesty anymore.

There was a day when being honest had something to do with the truth, now it just means “I’m being honest with my ridiculous emotions”. Honesty by itself is actually more dangerous because the person claiming honesty now has the right to say whatever they want to next. No, honesty’s brothers are awareness and consequence.

If your basis for honesty is not the truth it’s called lying. “But I honestly think I’m right when I’m wrong”. So does every two year old who punches his brother. He’s just being honest! He honestly thought his feelings were justified! Were they? NO! His feelings lied.

There are a hundred miles between YOUR truth and THE truth in an argument.

Part of my job as a pastor is to dig down and find out why people are in the trouble they’re in. I can hear you out, look at your friends and predict with terrific accuracy whether you’ll be able to get out of the jam you’re in. If you hang out with people who are only honest about their feelings you’re already trapped. If you hang out with people who are honest about the truth you’ll have an opportunity other’s won’t have.

Girls if you’re wondering if you should date him, find something in his life that isn’t great and ask him about it. If you can’t find anything don’t date him because either he’s hiding something, or you’re not as discerning as you think you are.

If his response is long and twists its way through distraction, blame shifting, victim mentality, excuses, theology, philosophy, keep looking. If he turns it back on you RUN AWAY!

A person who is truly honest will say something like: “Well, I get angry sometimes, but I’m working on it. So and so is helping me.” Or “My default in an argument is to get stubborn, and it’s not good” with a wry smile on their face.

Don’t hang with people who can’t laugh at themselves. They’ll very seriously want you to respect them while they are behaving very poorly. The last time I checked you had to earn respect.

And don’t be the one in the bottom of the trench taking out your frustrations on everyone else.

I’m sure someone somewhere has thought “Why don’t we just fill the trench in a little early and have some piece and quiet?”…

(Just being “honest”:)