If there is one thing I hate it’s being backed into a corner or working in a system that is doomed to fail.

I love a mission impossible, but sometimes part of accomplishing something people have given up on can only happen when we rewrite the game, so to speak. 

I’m not talking about breaking the laws of morality or anything like that, I’m really talking about the flawed assumption that made winning that particular relationship or business deal impossible before it even began.

Society said “Find yourself BY yourself”. Society was wrong.

I think it’s taken forty years of experience in our own relationships and those around us for me to really start understanding the damage done by this one flawed assumption.

Here are just a few things I’ve learned:

1. You weren’t created to find yourself by yourself.
     Even trying to do it is a huge waste of time and tends to lead to self deception which gets really weird and the last one to see it will be you…

2. It can lead to self absorption.
     “Why am I not getting what I deserve?”… the cry of the perpetual victim! Hmmmm…. not sure what you think you deserve in a world racked by sin and pain but most of your problems shrink the moment you talk to someone who’s got it worse. Or maybe you think everyone else in your world has nothing better to do than make your life miserable? Nobody is thinking about you half as much as you think they are. 

3. You will isolate.
     Sooner or later self deception creeps in or you just isolate yourself and wonder why no one is your friend anymore? It’s probably because you quit acting friendly and are waiting for them to ask you what’s wrong? Believe it or not, they have their own problems and it’s probably safe to assume you aren’t as connected to them as you wish they were to you?

     You are a being created for life in a reef. It will never be as safe as you want because of the turbulence of the water a reef thrives in. 

     Less than one percent of the ocean floor is covered in reefs and yet twenty five percent of all marine life happens there. 

     I couldn’t help thinking to myself “What a waste of God given potential!”

     It made me really glad for my church and my small group.