Why do some people rebound and some don’t?
The elasticity of some people is truly marvellous. Yet others seem so fragile… I’ve always wondered what kind of people or personalities are naturally flexible? Flexibility is power, of course. So it stands to reason that some people have real power and others just present a fragile front of power…
Then there is all your childhood crap. Huge factors that definitely shape your thinking.
The things that happen in your life. Some things happen to you, some things happen to people you love, you’ve done some things to people, and then some things just happen.
“My environment has shaped me!” Translation: “My life sucks and it’s somebody else’s fault!”. Now I’m not saying that there’s no validity in that, but I don’t believe it is the deciding factor in your outcome.
I’ve watched people pour their feet in concrete in their belief systems, families, habits, disciplines, you name it. Meaning: “No matter what happens, I will never think differently about these things”. Please believe that I’m all about having a system of beliefs that neither come from, nor depend on my “integrity” (if you can call it that), or my personal opinion at the time. My system is outside of me, ergo I belong to it and it doesn’t belong to me.
The concrete on my feet belongs to me though. My interpretation belongs to me. It works for a little while like those punching bag thingys that sit on the ground and rock backwards when you hit them. They’re fine in a wind, but not so great in a flood.
You can pour your life in definitives like you want to in your twenties to avoid the mess (I could write a book about that) but the first flood should make you question the way you control things. If you’re normal it’ll be the 4th or 5th flood and it’ll be too late to put Humpty Dumpty (or your marriage or your child) back together again.
A strong mind pours concrete. “Control what you can!” Sounds good if you live by yourself, but is your partner nodding and not smiling? Rigidity can look like honor and explode like glass.
I’ve watched other people fly by the seat of their pants. “Flexibility? Oh, I got that!” Translation: “I’m extremely flexible because I have no idea what I’m doing and have no plans to change that!” Just let someone else figure out how to control your chaos until they get tired of it, eat some ice cream, then find someone new!
Our thinking controls our actions and our actions predict our future. Pour your feet in concrete and hope nothing changes the rules of your game, or fly in the wind and hope you find Neverland!
(I’ve been extremely simple and unfair with these illustrations because angry people can be shocked into feeling something)
Why do some people bounce back and others don’t? It comes from something inside of us. Something in our Core. No matter your tendencies or personality, there is something that will decide this for you that is outside of these things, yet within your control.
You either feel like you’re Worthy or you don’t.
Stay tuned for a Brene Brown fuelled series on: