- Not if she should be. Huge difference. All the energy and chemistry (which is about all you’ve got dating) is geared towards the wrong question. You’re running headlong towards your goal of proving she could be that we don’t stop and ask if she should be. It’s too late to ask that when you get married.
- THE RIGHT ONE AT THE WRONG TIME AND IN THE WRONG WAY BECOMES THE WRONG THING
- The step from being “the right one” to being “the wrong one” is not that big. Take a look around. Relationships are falling apart because we’re expending all our energy trying to reach a type of euphoria (goal) that exists only in the marketing minds of people trying to sell things. Real life need not apply! We’re buying concepts from people who are failing miserably in their own relationships. Why?
- Special Note: If you’re dating right now you won’t listen to me… just thought I’d throw that in there. You have chemistry. You have ideals. You have theories. What would I know about marriage? I’ve been married for 15 years and made it through 2 major possible breakdowns, but you have a “song”! When your theory plane crashes into a mountain and you find yourself trying to survive for weeks or months, you’ll do things you wouldn’t have done sitting in your armchair at home. You’ll eat people. Don’t believe me? Have you ever watched a child custody case get nasty? People eating the people they once loved. But do what you’re going to do and when your kid is 16 tell them to listen to someone like me. But they won’t. They’ll have a song…
- This is where the attraction is. The two or three areas of your life where you “shine”. Use them well, when you’re married she’ll be more like “…yes, I know you think you’re good at that! Who cares?”. Careful how much you build around your strengths, what you don’t know now is that your weaknesses and glitches are far more in number and go way deeper than your strengths do. Utilize your strength, but understand something much more profound: one day you will look back at your life and realize your strength didn’t connect you to people.
- “We might impress people with our strengths, but we connect with them through our weaknesses.” Craig Groschel
- “If you aren’t comfortable talking about your weaknesses with him don’t date him, you’re not ready. If you couldn’t live with his weaknesses for the rest of your life, don’t date him either.” Corey Kope (me. stuff looks cooler when you quote someone)
- Weaknesses and quirks are what married people talk about. If you can’t laugh at or talk about your weaknesses, what are you going to talk about for the next thirty or forty years? That’s why some married people don’t laugh anymore. They take themselves way too seriously and try to ignore or perfect their natural weakness. It becomes one more conversation that’s off limits. It’s also no fun.
Jesus crossed social lines to talk to this Samaritan woman. I don’t have time to tell you how no Jewish Rabbi would ever EVER talk to a woman like this! Jesus doesn’t really care what society thinks, when he wants to get to someone, he does. It’s what I love about him!
― Brené Brown