- A. Your God speaks to you and advises you what to do to save lives through the priest, though sometimes you have to hear about course corrections you need to make to get your life back on track. It’s a small price to pay to save your life.
- (Sadly, you’ve had one of your guys execute all the priests and everything in their village that breathed. So no option A…)
- B. The prophet consults with God, gives you strategy and a very concise plan that allows God to come and win the battle for you. The only price is that you can’t BS the prophet of God, he probably knows your motives better than you do. Be honest and everything will be OK.
- (Sadly, Samuel the Prophet is dead. When he was alive, he wasn’t speaking to you anyways because of your incredibly stupid decision making and defiance of the very God who gave you the kingship to begin with.)
- C. David? Well, David could say “Get lost!” or “Ok. When and where? We’re in!”
- (Sadly, you’ve been hunting David for years and trying to kill him. That sort of thing tends to add stress to relationships, but you’ll never know because you never asked him anyways.)
Wait, I missed option D. Silly me. King Saul apparently had one more option. He should:
- D. Saul finds out his guys knew where the witches were all along. Says “we were looking all over and you KNEW where they were? What the heck?” Saul uses God to make a promise that God couldn’t keep and Saul shouldn’t keep so the witch “feels more comfortable”. Saul partakes in witchcraft, literally “sells his soul to the devil”. Samuel appears and delivers the news Saul already fears. Game over.
You should read your bible more if you didn’t see this one coming. 1 Samuel 28 is the address. And you thought your life was weird…