Good question.

     What the heck?

     It’s really a leadership question. If you never want to be a leader and have to work through stuff like this, don’t ever get married, or have kids, or a job, or friends. The fact is, you are a leader somewhere. If not, you will be soon…

     Most people in Canada lead by default. Define default? The situation that you find yourself in leads you to make your decisions. Things happen TO you. You don’t happen to things. You wait too long to DO something. To SAY something. To crack down on something out of control. Other people’s decision making makes your decisions. Now THAT was a brilliant sentence! Somebody write that down!

     Sorry, pastor’s kid:)

     (That’s what I say when I say stupid stuff. It’s my get out of jail free card for being mildly indecent to religious people or just saying something stupid. Cut me some slack, being a pastor’s kid isn’t the easiest thing in the world)

     You are a leader if you are responsible for something. If you pay the bills for someone or the buck stops with you. Another Canadian misnomer looks something like this: “I have a good idea and a mouth, that gives me the right to speak! (and possibly boss people around?)” Sorry sweetheart, not in my organization. Not really on topic, but you can have that one for free:) Pastor’s kid:)

     What painful decisions are you facing? In your organization? In your department? In your marriage? In your family? With your friend?

     The funny thing is, we probably already know what we have to do, it’s just hard.

     So fire yourself, walk out the door, walk back in and pull the trigger!

     Too strong?

     Ok. What decision would you make if you had no emotional baggage about it? What if she wasn’t your cousin? Would you reassign her in your company? Fire her? Promote her?

     If you were fired as a husband, what would the “new you” do? Would you be nicer? Would you be a stronger leader in your home?

     If you were fired as a mother, would the “new you” put that wild two year old through boot camp? Thank God my folks had the courage to temper my temper! (Write that down). The only thing worse than a bad tempered, selfish two year old is a bad tempered, selfish twenty year old.

     Would the new “you” tell your best friend she shouldn’t date him? You’ve heard some stories…? Being polite is cool, but saying what needs to be said might be better. How much pain could be avoided?

     Don’t get all Canadian and frosty because I just dropped a grenade in your living room. If you don’t like your status quo, CHANGE IT! That’s what leaders do! When a ten year projection of your current direction (that rhymes) scares you more than that conversation, DO IT! Why would you wait for it to happen? Maybe it’s waiting for you to show up. You will only have a small window of courage or fear to make your decision. I did say fear. Fear can make you run or make you fight. Sometimes I let fear push me to bring the hammer down now. I’m really afraid of that 10 year projection more than the present conflict.

     Fire yourself, walk out, walk back in and pull the trigger.

     If you’re waiting for someone else to do it… they’re not comin